Friday, December 28, 2012

Feeling Kind of Blah!!!

You ever have one of those days...weeks when your just not feeling very with it?

It normally happens for me when I spend my days off running around. It just makes me feel very busy! Not that thats a bad thing its just very hard sometimes because I feel like I dont spend a lot of time with Alyssa!

I mean my sister Ashley already has her 4 days a week while Im working then on my days off I just want to hang out with her all day. But when we are together and Im running around from store to store buying groceries or running around the house switching back and forth from laundry to dishes I just dont know if she feels neglected or ignored! I feel like she does but I just dont know!

Just cause we are in the same room together doesnt mean we are spending time together does it?

Here lately she has started this new thing where when Im leaving for work she starts whining and says "Lyssa go to work too?"      It just breaks my heart!

Doesnt she understand I have to work to be able to take care of her?

Of Course Not Andrea!!! She is only 2 years old!!

I just get soo mad at myself sometimes!! I guess I just expect too much out of her! She is just so smart and independent I have to constantly remind myself that she is only 2!

I just want her to look back at her childhood and remember all the fun times we had not all the days she spent at Ashleys house because I had to work! 

Thats kinda how I remember my childhood! My mother is a workaholic....I remember sometimes she would literally work 10-12 days in a row working overtime just to pay bills while my dad was working 5 days a week! Its hard for everybody!! I guess as parents we just want our kids to be happy and have whatever they want even if that means working 10-12 days in a row! Is that really good for our kids though?

I just want to be an awesome mother especially since Alyssa's dad isnt around to help out!

I feel like some single mothers try so hard to provide for there children and thats all the kids remember is that their mother did what she could to take care of them!

I dont want Alyssa to remember that! I dont want Alyssa to look back and remember me constantly working.

Whats more important spending time with your children or providing for them???

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