Please Please Please Dont judge me from this post!!
I need to write and
blow off some
steam....what perfect place to do it then on a blog where other mothers can give me some feedback and advice!!
Warning......I am going to sound very selfish in this post!!!
So for those of you that
do not know me personally this may be new to you for those of you that
do know me personally please bear with me!!
I am
24 years old and a mother to a wonderful babygirl Alyssa she is
2 years old!!
I turned 22 just 2 weeks before I gave birth to Alyssa!
Here father Adam & I were together for a
long time but during my pregnancy we
broke up and
got back together broke up then
got back together it was so
unstable then once Alyssa got here it was not any better he lost his job I wasnt working it was a
total trainwreck!!!
He was still in the mind set that he could do whatever he wanted and I was not okay with that so one day I packed everything up and moved in with my mother!! Alyssa was
3 weeks old!!
I still live with my mom!
So this past week has been a rough week on me very
challenging in
multiple ways!!! I have been very
irritable and
angry towards a lot of people that did not deserve it.
This is were I become selfish!!!
I had made plans both
Friday & Saturday nothing big just hanging out with friends.....dinner ya know
normal things!!
Well Alyssa has a temperature!! She has
had a temperature since
Friday morning!
Fluctuating from
101.3 99.7 101.5 100 just so on and off and for no reason she is eating as normal playng as normal a little bit fussy here and there but overall
pretty normal!!
A couple times she had woken up in the middle of the night
super sweaty/clamy where I would touch her and could just tell she had a fever her skin was
burning hot!!! So I gave her medicine.....the meds worked to
reduce her fever but it just kept coming back!
So I had to cancel my plans for Friday & Saturday!!!
Ugh!! This is so frustrating!! I just want to be able to go out to eat with some girlfriends and catch up.......or go swimming with my friend and her nieces....do a cute little slumber party girls night thing.....I want to be able to go over to friends' house and just hang out but I cant because I am a young mother!! I have a baby daddy that is not here to help out with
his kid!! Plus she has a fever!!
Which is
completely understandable please dont get the wrong impression I
totally get why I had to cancel my plans its not worth putting others and there children in danger of catching whatever she may or may not have!! Its still frustrating none the less!
Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time and things
might be different
I never regret having Alyssa just the outcome of how things are now!
I mean a lot of my friends are married or living with there childs father....How did I miss that memo!?! How was I soo blind?!?
I enjoy looking at Alyssa and seeing her
bright blue eyes and her
cute button nose but sometimes I just get soo frustrated at my life!! The responsibilities of being a parent are so
overwhelming!
Especially because Im so young its hard....I want to be able to do all this stuff but I cant!
I guess if parenting was so easy everybody would be doing it!!!
Please give me some feedback....
I am in desperate need of advice.....please comment!!